How to Find Yourself Again After Motherhood: Reclaim Your Confidence and Identity

I haven’t written in so long because, honestly, I slipped into a bit of a PPD (postpartum depression) funk. The kind where mom burnout takes over, and suddenly, everything you love doing feels like it doesn’t matter. I kept thinking, Am I even good at this? Does anyone care? And the more I let those thoughts take over, the harder it became to show up for myself.

But lately, something has shifted. I’m remembering that I don’t have to be perfect or have it all figured out. Most importantly, I don’t need permission to take up space. I’m living my life again, making myself a priority, and it feels really good.

Which brings me to what I want to talk about today: getting your pink back.

What Does "Getting Your Pink Back" Mean?

It’s about reclaiming your confidence, independence, and spark. It’s about remembering that you are a whole person outside of being “Mom.”

Because let’s be honest—between the diaper changes, school drop-offs, meal planning, and constant demands of motherhood, it’s so easy to lose yourself.

Pink flower blossoming

Why Moms Struggle to Prioritize Themselves

We love our kids more than anything, and they naturally become the center of our world. But if we’re not careful, we start to disappear in the process. We put our own needs and dreams on hold, thinking we’ll get to them later. But when does later ever come?

That’s why this matters. Because before you even think about feeling guilty for wanting more, let me remind you—our kids are watching.

If they see us constantly putting ourselves last, they’ll think that’s normal. But if they see us setting boundaries, prioritizing our well-being, and making space for what makes us happy, they’ll learn that it’s okay to do the same.

Ways to Regain Your Confidence and Identity as a Mom

1. Move Your Body in a Way That Feels Good

One of the best ways to start feeling like yourself again is exercise, but not in a way that feels like a chore.

For some, that means weightlifting or running. But for me? I’ve found my sweet spot with Pilates.

✅ It strengthens my body without extra strain on my joints.

✅ It provides a deep stretch while also building real strength.

✅ It reduces stress and anxiety, helping me feel grounded.

And if you’re thinking, That sounds nice, but I don’t have the time or energy for workouts right now, I get it. That’s why I’m starting slow.

Even five-minute classes can make a difference. Right now, my go-to is the Peloton app—it’s convenient, affordable, and makes me feel amazing.

The key? Start small, find what you love, and let movement be self-care—not just another task.

2. Invest in Yourself (Without Guilt)

For the longest time, I put myself on the back burner—whether it was food, movement, mental health, or simple joys. My focus was on making sure everyone else was taken care of, and I came last.

But I’ve realized that when I feel good—physically, mentally, emotionally—I show up better as a mom, partner, and person.

So, I’ve started making small shifts:

• Buying a new yoga mat so I actually enjoy my workouts.

• Grabbing some self-tanner because a little glow makes me feel more put together.

• Updating my wardrobe with clothes that fit and make me feel good.

• Signing up for Duolingo—because why not learn something new?

These aren’t huge, life-changing things, but they add up. And every time I do something just for me, it’s a reminder that I matter too.

What small things bring you joy? Maybe it’s fresh flowers in the kitchen, finally getting that haircut, or actually drinking your coffee while it’s hot. Whatever it is, make space for it.

3. Embrace "Cocooning" Instead of Feeling Guilty for Resting

Recently, I was talking to my therapist about feeling like I’m slipping back into my shell—where I just want to stay in my safe space and avoid the outside world.

She asked me: Are you cocooning or reclusing?

I hadn’t really thought about it before, but there’s a big difference:

• Reclusing is shutting yourself off in a way that isn’t serving you.

• Cocooning is taking intentional time to recharge, reset, and care for yourself.

If you feel like pulling back a little, don’t see it as a bad thing. Instead, make it a cocooning moment—grab a cozy blanket, read a book, or put on your favorite comfort show. Eat the foods that bring you joy. Breathe. Just be.

And here’s the key—use this time to reframe your thinking.

When you catch yourself thinking, Ugh, I’ve gained so much weight since having my baby, instead of spiraling, pause. Recognize that thought, and reframe it.

Try saying: "Actually, I’m a hottie with a strong body." Because that’s the truth.

Cocooning isn’t just about resting—it’s about shifting your mindset and knowing that slowing down doesn’t mean you’re stuck. It just means you’re gathering strength before you emerge even stronger.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Take Up Space

I’m done waiting for the perfect moment to take care of myself. I’m done putting myself last and believing that I have to earn the right to feel good.

Because the truth is, we don’t need permission to invest in ourselves or chase the things that bring us joy.

Getting your pink back isn’t about being flawless or having it all figured out. It’s about making small, intentional choices that remind you of who you are outside of motherhood.

So let’s do this together. Let’s show up for ourselves, even in the chaos. Let’s take the time to rest, recharge, and rediscover what makes us feel alive.

Because when we feel good, we shine brighter—for our kids, for our families, but most importantly, for ourselves.