Returning to Work After Maternity Leave: How to Feel Like Yourself Again
- hannahkdurand
- May 27
- 8 min read
Going back to work after having a baby is a big deal and for me, it felt like stepping into a completely new world. I was caught between the excitement of diving back into work I love and the ache of leaving behind the sometimes quiet, intimate rhythm of being with my babies. Whether it’s your first child or your third, the transition is never just about schedules and logistics, it’s a deeply emotional shift. Suddenly, work feels different, relationships shift, and it’s easy to wonder if you still fit in the same way. But here’s what I’ve learned this isn’t just about adjusting, it’s about rising. It’s about stepping into this new season with grace, rediscovering your strength, and realizing that you are not just returning, you’re evolving into an even more powerful version of yourself, both as a mother and a professional.

The Emotion Shift: Why This Feels So Hard
It’s completely normal to feel scared or unsure about going back to work after being home with your baby. You’re stepping into a world that feels both familiar and totally foreign, all while carrying the weight of a new identity. For weeks or months, your days were shaped by feeding schedules, snuggles, and constant caregiving. You were fully immersed in “mom mode,” and now you’re being asked to show up as the professional version of you again. It’s not just a shift in routine, it’s two versions of yourself trying to coexist. And that can feel like two totally different worlds crashing into one another.
Returning to work stirs up a lot of emotions—guilt, anxiety, excitement, overwhelm—all tangled together. You’re still learning who you are as a mom, trying to hold on to the parts of yourself that existed before, and now you’re being asked to bring “professional you” back into the mix. It’s a lot.
As moms, we face both internal and external pressure to be everything: the best mom, the best employee, and the best version of ourselves. But the truth is, those roles often compete with one another. The time and energy it takes to show up fully in one area often comes at the cost of another. Being an incredible mom might mean setting limits at work. Being a high-performing employee might mean missing bedtime. Taking care of yourself might mean saying no to both.
There are only so many hours in a day, and the weight of trying to “do it all” is real. The pressure doesn’t just exist, it compounds. So if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the return to work, know that it makes sense. This isn’t just a schedule change. It’s a full emotional reckoning and you’re not alone in feeling it.
Rebuilding Confidence at Work
Give yourself grace. You’re stepping back into a world that no longer revolves around bottle schedules, nap times, and diaper changes and that transition takes time. Your productivity, focus, and even your identity may feel different than they did before. That doesn’t mean you’re any less capable or any less deserving of your role. It just means you’re evolving. And part of that evolution is reconnecting with your why. The reason you work and what it means to you now.
Lately, I’ve found myself struggling with that very thing. Since returning from maternity leave, my role has shifted. I have less responsibility than I did before, and it’s been hard to accept. My therapist and I have been exploring how my why has changed because it has, even if I didn’t want to admit it at first.
Before, I was driven to grow, to climb the ladder, to be someone people relied on and admired professionally. It wasn’t just about the paycheck; it was about proving I belonged, that I could be both a mom and a leader. Now? My why has softened, but it hasn’t weakened. It's just shifted and that's allowed. Right now, I work to support my family financially, to bring structure into my day, and to use my brain in a different, adult way. I’ve had to press pause on my competitive drive and that’s okay.
Because here’s what I’ve realized: I’m not the same person I was before my babies and that’s not a loss, it’s growth. My priorities have shifted, but so have my strengths. Motherhood has made me more resilient, more efficient, and far more empathetic. I juggle multiple needs and voices at once (hello, screaming toddlers), and I’ve learned to get things done in focused, condensed bursts. My time is more valuable now, so I use it more intentionally. Some meetings have turned into emails. Some expectations have changed.
And maybe the most powerful change of all? My empathy. Motherhood cracked me open. I see people differently now. I understand that everyone is carrying something heavy, even if it’s invisible. So if a coworker misses a deadline, maybe they’re in the thick of their own storm. And maybe I can lead with compassion instead of frustration.
This version of me, this working mom version, isn’t lesser. She’s just different. She’s stronger, wiser, and learning to glow in a whole new way.
Finding Balance Without Burning Out
Establish clear boundaries between work and home. This one’s tough, especially when your roles as mom and professional start to blur. But boundaries are essential. Set a clear end to your workday, even if it’s just closing your laptop and taking a deep breath before heading into dinner and bedtime routines. Communicate your availability clearly to your team. You’re not slacking, you’re honoring your capacity and your family.
Reevaluate your priorities: what actually matters now? You’ve changed and so have your values. Maybe climbing the ladder matters less right now, and being present at pickup matters more. Or maybe work is where you feel most like you, and that’s okay too. The point is: check in with yourself. What used to feel urgent might not anymore, and that’s not failure, it’s growth.
Say no when needed (guilt-free) You’re allowed to say no to the extra project, the last-minute meeting, or even the well-meaning friend who wants to “just catch up.” Your time and energy are precious, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation for protecting them. Saying no is not unkind, it’s necessary.
Create small daily rituals to transition between roles. Whether it’s changing your clothes, stepping outside for a quick walk, or playing your favorite music during your commute, these rituals can help you mentally shift from work-mode to mom-mode (and back again). It doesn’t have to be elaborate, it just has to be yours. These little moments signal to your brain that it’s time to soften or sharpen your focus, and they help create space between the many hats you wear. One thing that really helps me is carving out a 15-minute window after morning drop-offs. Once my oldest is at preschool and my youngest is with my mom, I come home and do a quick Barre, Pilates, or yoga session. It’s not about breaking a sweat, it’s about clearing my mind and giving myself a gentle transition into the next phase of the day.
Nurturing Your Mental Health
Recognize the signs. Returning to work doesn’t mean everything magically resets. If you’re feeling constantly on edge, exhausted no matter how much you rest, or like you’re just going through the motions, those could be signs of anxiety, burnout, or lingering postpartum depression. These feelings don’t make you a bad mom or a bad employee. They make you human. Pay attention to what your body and mind are telling you.
Make space for support. Whether it’s therapy, a postpartum support group, or a trusted mom friend who gets it, don’t do this alone. You deserve a space where you can say the hard things out loud and be met with compassion, not judgment. Sometimes the most healing thing is simply hearing, “me too.”
Reminder: You don’t have to be OK all the time. Asking for help is not weakness. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re not strong. You are navigating an enormous transition and it’s okay if some days feel too heavy. Give yourself permission to feel it all without guilt. You’re still showing up. You’re still doing your best. And that is enough.
Practical Tips for a Smoother Return
Prep the night before—future you will thank you. Even 15 minutes of prep the night before can make your mornings feel less chaotic. Lay out clothes for you and the kids, pack lunches, and if you're pumping, get those supplies ready to go. It's not about being ultra-organized; it's about creating a little less stress during those already-full mornings.
Keep communication clear and honest. Let your manager and team know what you need. Whether that’s flexibility in your schedule, time blocked off for pumping, or space to ease back into your full responsibilities. Clear, kind communication helps set realistic expectations and builds mutual trust.
Build in micro-moments of rest. Give yourself permission to take short breaks, step outside for fresh air, stretch, or even just sit in silence for five minutes. You don’t need to power through every moment. These small resets can go a long way in helping you stay grounded.
Look for little things to enjoy. Returning to work can feel overwhelming, but try to find one thing that brings a little light to your day, a really good cup of coffee, a kind coworker to check in with, a quiet lunch where no one asks you for snacks. These small joys matter. They help remind you that you’re still allowed to experience ease, even during a big transition.
Rediscovering You
Becoming a mother shifts so much, your routines, your priorities, your identity. But here’s the truth, it didn’t erase the you that existed before. She’s still there, just layered with new strength, perspective, and wisdom.
Start with the small joys. You don’t have to dive back into every hobby or passion all at once. Begin with what feels manageable. Maybe it’s reading a few pages of a book, journaling for 5 minutes, or picking up a creative outlet that once brought you joy. These small acts are a quiet rebellion against burnout, and a bold step toward remembering yourself.
Confidence comes back—but it looks different now. You might not feel like your “old self,” and that’s okay. You’re not her anymore. This new version of you is more grounded, more efficient, more empathetic. Rebuilding confidence after maternity leave isn’t about snapping back, it’s about integrating who you were with who you are now.
This is your timeline. There’s no race. No perfect pace. You’re allowed to rediscover yourself in slow, intentional ways. Because when you reclaim the things that make you feel most like you, you glow brighter. Not in spite of being a mom, but because of it.
Final Encouragement
Repeat that as often as you need. You are not behind. You are growing, evolving, and doing the best you can in a season that asks so much of you. And most importantly you’re not alone in it.
Share your experience of returning to work in the comments. What helped you feel grounded again? What do you wish someone had told you? Your voice matters and another mama out there may need to hear exactly what you have to say.
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